JN

Date of amputation: 1988
Time post amputation: 9 years 3 months
Age 35 : Female
Hand lost in road accident: re-attachment attempted;
hand amputated 10 days later.
No previous damage to hand/arm

I was involved in a road accident in which my hand was found disconnected at the site of the accident. An attempt was made to reconnect it, but the lower arm was later lost through secondary infection. The amputation was only about a week & a half after the accident, but I had perhaps four operations in the six months after that to get the stump right. I have had the phantom ever since, although its not there all the time. When the pain increases it seems to be larger; it is definitely heavier than a normal limb. I can open and close my hand, and this helps to ease the pain. I seem to be able to move it like a normal limb, but the joints are very large, and its much stiffer. I am not aware of the wrist at all, not even aware that there is a wrist, but I can clench and move the fingers individually. At the time of the accident I was aware that my engagement ring cut into my finger, and that is still there. At first I used to get quite uptight that I must be crazy because I was imagining a hand there; but it is so definite that nobody can convince me that it is just in my mind. Especially when it is itching its so real that I feel as though I can actually scratch it. I can pin point where its itching, and yet I am aware that it is not there.

When I start trying to move the limb the phantom doesn't go with the part that I have got left. Most of the time the phantom just feels flat; I have to think about it to make it a solid form. I wasn't born like this and obviously I do miss my arm, yet sometimes the phantom pain makes me feel whole again